Honoring Their Father

My personality is too strong. I am aware of it. Somehow I always manage to make my faults less important by stating that I recognize them. Somehow I feel it lets me off the hook a little (oh please!!). I am the dominant factor in this house for two reasons.

1. Because I refuse to be ruled (childhood baggage)
2. Because when it comes to my kids I am a complete and utter push over (not happy about it, but it's the cold hard truth)

So, I am either ruling out of fear of being ruled or because I want my kids to have every moment of happiness possible, no matter the cost.

I have learned over the years that my kids are often a reflection of me. If I am disrespectful to their father (my husband of almost 18 years) they will begin to fall in line. They will discredit his answers or blow him off or be rude to him. When I noticed the trend, I really wanted to make a change.

Quite honestly in my life I have never met a kinder, more generous man than my husband. He gives of himself tirelessly. He is an amazing person with endless amounts of patience and fortitude. I want my children to recognize that. I want them to aspire to be like him (and less like me). I want them to be giving, loving, caring and have the highest amount of integrity. All the things I see in their father.

I constantly speak of how lucky they are to have him. How hard he works and how much he offers their lives in the way of support and spirit - the "go get um', you can do anything" kind of spirit.

Being typical teenagers they cop attitudes, the disrespect on occasion and they "mouth off." I try to call them on it immediately. Sometimes through a facial expression, sometimes through a word of disapproval. Sometimes with a threat of a smack!

I want to honor their father. I want my daughter to aspire to marry a man very much like him (perhaps a bit more expressive would be nice). I want my son to aspire to be like him. My son is an amazing person who does see the grace that is his father. Though he forgets it sometimes when he is doing his own teenage thing.

I want to honor him everyday so that they will see him and appreciate him the way I do.

I am sorry for the times I am a control freak. I want to do better at this and I want to be an example for them.