The Postive Experiment - AWESOME

Ok - This is exciting for me. I am cheerleading advisor at my kids school. I currently work with 17 cheerleaders on a daily basis. Now you would think that those who try out and become cheerleaders would be self confident, and know they have something to offer.

The truth is many of them are deathly shy and very insecure about their beauty (and I mean inner beauty). I constantly try to give positive messages to them. I am also VERY honest with them telling them what they need to work on.

Anyway - It's my passion to give them the truth about their wonderfulness. But, coming from an adult doesn't always sink in. So, I did the positive experiment with them. I plan on doing with the entire school. But, we started here.

I made 3 piles of 3x5 cards each with a cheerleaders name on them. Each cheerleader took a name from each pile - giving them 3 names. They were to take them home and write something positive or encouraging about the person on their card. I was somewhat worried that someone would flake out and a poor person would sit there w/o 3 positive comments. NO ONE FLAKED OUT. Some even went above and beyond and made a full blown art project for their recipient.

I read each card (51 of them) out loud to the group. They were so thrilled. They were all so appreciative of the comments that their teammates made about them. I got teary eyed more than once.

This is such a simple project - so easy and yet had such a HUGE impact on the team. I have kept the cards so I can copy them. I will give them back and I know that each one of them will cherish their cards and read them again and again.

Maybe you could present this idea to your student's teacher, or your student's coach. It is very worth it! It's always a good idea to give a kid a reason (or 3) to feel confident, feel special, important, cared for and appreciated.

I'd love your comments!

Frustration is setting in!!!

I try so hard to communicate in a real way with my kids. I try to take "gems" I have learned and pass them along. I try to take good advice and use it. Dr. Phil once said a long time ago something about how we should teach our kids our expectations by using our identity. Meaning when the kids do something outside of what the family stands for we say " The Smiths don't do that." Or, when saying something positive about our family . "The Smiths help their community." Helping the kids to identify with who we are as a family, what kind of behavior we expect and how we interact with the world.

I am proud of my kids and I am proud of my family. We do a lot of volunteering, we do a lot of good for our community. The kids are reminded constantly on how to be an exceptional person.

I am not thrilled with the way my kids get along with each other. It's a constant struggle to get them to be kind to one another on a regular basis.

So, yesterday my daughter gets mad at my son at school, starts doing her teenage drama queen routine, crying, etc. etc. While friends try to make her feel better - he walks by and she calls him an obscene name and then he retaliates and it starts a big ol' yelling match out in front of the school. Some kid jumps in and wants to start a fight with my son and it just progresses into a scene that is not a representation of who I want my family to be.

I have had the talks about family and sticking together and the talks about making a big old scene and acting like an ass. I guess the conversations have to be constant and reminders must be made.

Listen, if we don't support each other who will? Who will be there for you if not your family? Who you gonna call?

Respect each other, stick together and if you can't get along then for gosh sakes just leave each other ALONE!! So, it seems I suffer from a common problem of siblings fighting. It's just magnified in a small town where too many people get involved.

I need to calm down and talk to them in a peaceful, rational way. But this morning I was a snot to her and just told her to try to make it through the day without an outburst and causing any drama. I spoke out of anger and I am still angry. Probably because I have like a zillion times and yet these events still take place.

Oh well, the quest for perfection continues.