Are You Sending Positive Messages?

Do your kids like you? Do you care if they like you? I know that I care. I also know the whole rig-a-ma-roll that you are to be a parent and not a friend. I think that I walk this line very well. My kids know when I am not messing around. However, I do suffer as a victim on occasion from "snotty teenage girl syndrome." Where I just have to bite my tongue, and remind my hubby to bite his too.

I try very hard to recognize my kids when they do something wonderful. My daughter enhances my life, my self esteem, my general feeling of happiness on a daily basis. I really like her and I know she really likes me. I know that I embarrass the heck out of her sometimes. She has become more and more accepting that I am who I am and I am not a representative of her when I am out and about. I think she had to learn that for survival purposes. As I am a prominent figure at her school I coach cheer and I volunteer for every opportunity given me at their school.

I wrote her a card that I hand made and it told her about how she has lifted me, inspired me and means to world to me.

It's a small act, but it's a reminder to her that she is loved and important. It also reminds her that she has the ability to enhance other people's lives. She is not just going through life and it's all about her. She has an effect on the world and the people around her. She matters.

Girls these days think their problems, concerns, worries are exclusive to them. They need to be reminded that they are not alone. That they are worthy and wonderful - just because they exist.

My favorite man who ever existed was Mr. Rogers. He used to tell ME on a daily basis through the television screen that he liked me, just for me, just as I was. And I believed him

I take the opportunity ANY time I can to remind all the girls that I know that they are wonderful, unique and CAPABLE. They need to hear it. I don't use the word "special" too often. As it is an overused word that has lost its meaning.

When you are around any teenage girls, you should be reminding them of their qualities, their traits that stand out. It doesn't have to be something major. Just a simple "wow, you're sure great at that."

Think of how great you feel when someone pays you even the simplest of compliments. Now imagine you are bombarded by boys who don't pay attention to you, friends who turn on you when the wind blows (TEENAGERS!!!), pressure to get good grades, busy parents and a general lack of self belief. Just one comment from someone they respect can go a long way to lifting them up and helping them to believe in themselves.

If not you, then who?

Feeling Pretty Fortunate

My 17 year old (closer to 18 now) senior in high school has a pretty serious girlfriend. They really only get to see each other on the weekends and an occasional week night. But the skype and talk on the phone constantly.

I enjoy my kid's company. My son is funny as heck and my daughter is too. Our favorite family pass time is to compete on Jeopardy. We DVR it and watch 2-4 episodes at a time and keep score. Truthfully, we are all too dumb to get many answers right, but it is soo much fun.

I always call it "family time" and I always indicate how much I love having us all together, laughing and enjoying each other. We do other stuff like "family meetings" and card games, etc.

The cool thing is if his girlfriend calls when we are up to one of these activities, he will always answer the phone and sweetly tell her "it's family time, I'll call you back in ______."

I just find this so wonderful and such a display of love for the family. It touches my heart.

I recently added a card to the Positive Action Recognition poster in the kitchen, stating that I was proud and happy that he recognizes family time.

This, I realize is pretty rare for a 17 y/o. For this reason, it's help me to know that I am connecting with my kids. My kids see family as valuable.

I would say the key thing that I have done in this scenario is let my kids know how much I like them and how much I value their humor, the brains and their time.