There is no easy road!

My son is mad at me. He has entered his senior year of high school. Along with being a senior comes many perks. The seniors get to leave campus for lunch and many seniors get a "free period." Mind you, our school is on a block schedule - so a free period is 2 hours of free time every other day. Uh - How bout' NO!!

I did not let my son take a free period. He is quite irritated about it. I also made him take pre-calculus and he's quite irritated at me for that, too. Well look, it's your last year - make it count. Learn all you can - do your best and learn as much as you can.

One of the things I try to communicate to him is that right now he makes his decisions on how he feels right now. I am making decisions based on how I know he will feel in 10 years.

No one EVER pushed me to be my best in High School. I had no real mentors and I had no one saying to me - YOU WILL SUCCEED. In high school I had better things to do with my time than work hard and learn much.

My son is so much like me that it scares me. The difference is - he has me. I will not let him say to himself in 10/15/20 years, "I wish I had paid more attention in high school." "I wish, I wish, I wish." So, for right now he is saying "I don't need this," "I don't want to do this." I just gently remind him that I know how smart he is. I know his potential and I know that this is the best for him. I tell him that I love him and I believe in him and that one day he'll be glad for the extra work now.

I ran into the principal the other day and she mentioned that his spirits were a bit low. (I live in a small town, everyone know everyone, she KNOWS my kid). I told her why and she suggested that I tell him that if he works very hard and has a successful first semester, that I allow him a free period during the second semester. We both agreed that my son is the type that only works hard when there is a reward or benefit for him. I told her I was worried about that personality trait and she was so wonderful in reminding me that in life there is always some sort of real motivation - more money, or something he wants so that I should not worry too much about that. That helped me feel better about it.

So, I told him. His only question was - which class does he get to drop. I couldn't answer that right off - so the issue is currently tabled. But, oh have no doubt it will come up again.

I don't just pull the "because I said so card." That does no good on a 17 year old boy who feels he has the world by the (Hmmm) and knows exactly what he is doing and exactly what he wants.

So, I tell him my motivations. I tell him why I have made these decisions on his behalf. And even though he may not agree with them, he has learned through a lifetime of commitment to him that I only have his success in mind. He knows that his happiness, his success is my life's goal. He will never and has never questioned that. That's a major win on my side.

At this age they need to understand why things are the way they are. You (I) can't just make demands without talking to the kid and helping him see why we do what we do.

I hope that I am making him a better person. I hope that my insistence that he do his best will carry on throughout his life and that he will make "being his best" a lifetime habit.