Teen Driving - Help me out here folks!!

Ok, I live in a really small town and we are near nothing. I am a FREAK about letting my kids drive with teenagers (this includes up to 19). My son last year got invited to go to the mall with a girl friend (just a friend) of his. The older sister (18) was driving. This was SOOO hard for me to decide whether or not to let him go. Now mind you the mall is no less than an hour away (1hr 20, the way I drive), through windy mountain roads for a great portion of it.

So, I let him go. Then the weather turned. He got there safely, he called and checked in. I casually asked my husband to take me to mall to get him and drive him home. I couldn't bear the thought of him driving home with a teen in the dense fog. He was not mad or humiliated. I waited till they were done doing their thing. She is a super nice girl and didn't give him any guff about it.

Now remember - I live in an EXTREMELY small town (one gas station and one stop sign - ok 2, if you count the one coming into town off the two lane death highway (LOL). So, I am at the gas station and I am inside. Outside I see a car pull up and it has a couple of teens in it. The one driving I THINK is not allowed to drive with other teens yet. So, I see my son, walking up to the gas station - HE DOES NOT SEE ME. He talks to the kids in the car 0pens the back door and is about to get into the car. The kid in the front passenger seat, apparently told him that I was in the store (he obviously saw me). My son backs out of the door of the SUV and casually walks into the store. Hey Mama, can I go to (wherever) with "so and so?" I asked him if the kid was allowed to drive with teens (KNOWING HE IS NOT) and so my son goes out and asks him - he of course, says no. My son proceeds back into the store tells me "no," but wants to go with him anyway. A small argument occurs (of course the checker is a friend of mine, we know everyone in town). She and I discussed had I not been in the store, my 16 year old kid would have gotten into the SUV with 2 other teens, one of which who had his license like 3 months and drove off.

It scares the hell out me. You can't be with them every minute. He has track practice, or play practice or cheer practice. You just can't be with them every moment.

Now he has a friend who drives around all over. He's a responsible kid, who has had his license long enough to drive with others. I have given my son permission to drive with him. Now, they go no more than 5 miles (or less) to the deli, the taco shop, a friend's house. No biggie and it feels right.

Yesterday he let it slip that he was looking for a ride to the school baseball game (which is played at a park less than 2miles from the school). He told me he couldn't get a hold of the friend he has permission to drive with so he was going to go with a girl friend (friend). But as she pulled up to give him a ride, so did the other person. So, once again he was going to get into the car of someone whom he is not allowed to drive with.

He has had multiple eye surgeries and really isn't ready for a license yet (vision almost there). Plus he can be very impulsive - so I really don't care if he gets a license. I am in NO HURRY. He was just talking about getting his permit (which honestly, I don't know if he'd pass the eye test, but depending on the day, he might (his vision can fluctuate right now). But after these incidents, I really feel like he does not take the whole responsibility of driving seriously. If he is willing to break the rules - then he is not mature enough for me to even consider letting him drive, right???

Since his friends are just now entering the driving age - this is a new issue for me. As it is now, all the parents just take turns driving the kids "down the hill." to different events/activities.

What are you doing to ensure your kids follow the rules of driving? What have you said to SHOCK them back into reality?

Seriously, I'm nervous and I am - well, I am nervous.